‘They’ say that the only thing you can be sure of is your own mortality. It’s coming. Like it or not, you’re going to die (as is everyone else by the way). That’s what ‘They’ say.

But I have another. I can, with as much certainty as I’m going to shake off this mortal coil, predict which of my Facebook friends will pounce at my posts. This is my new sport. I am the zoo keeper dragging my cane across the bars of their virtual cages.

For example I recently posted some quote by a dead Irish poet about ‘exploring the dark corners of your soul and so on’…I hit the post button, placed by bet and waited. It took a little longer than I expected (probably due to the recent change in time difference), but with pin point accuracy the flinging of digital faeces commenced from the predicted cage…this faeces was flung with such abandon and relentless vigor that contagion occurred…cages up and down the row began to vibrate, howling and barking erupted. More bits and bytes of faecal matter hit my screen and then peace and silence ensued. It was awesome. If I’d quoted that dead Irishman to the same people in a physical space – a bar for example – it would have gone unnoticed…

…and so I posit thus; humans are both more extreme and more predictable in their reactions when reacting from behind the screens of their devices…but I’m not sure what that implies. Do we feel more free to be extreme if we’re not face-to-face? Does the physical world dull our natural selves? Are we too afraid to be us in public, but totally happy to let it all hang out in full force when we’re operating in the virtual?

And in case you think I’m being unfairly judgmental, I’ll let let you in on a little secret. I too used to punch holes in my keyboard and let it all hang out over the dumbest of shit….sarcasm and dismissive ‘humor’ were my weapons of choice…this was until I caught myself in my own game.

All of the above is simply an observation…but 10 bucks says your keyboards have taken a bashing at things you wouldn’t have given a flying monkey’s about in the real world.

PS

For anyone looking to find a virtual predictor of future anti-social / deviant behavior, my theory (untested) is that the number of ‘I haven’t got a clue who they are’s as a percentage of one’s full set of Facebook connections would be a good place to start.